I recorded a video

24th September

I attended a practice session yesterday and recorded a video of myself. Well, I do record myself practicing, but this was more like a monologue on the way. 

I have been thinking of recording my thoughts and sharing some of my stories, along with visuals, for some time. A, for my own reference, and b, for people close to me to watch them. And I wanted to buy a 360 camera for some time, it just seems like the friction to record is so low with them. This happens to be the sale season on both Amazon and Flipkart, and the camera is 11k discounted with a card discount. Maybe it is the signal to buy. 

I want to buy it and record myself, yeah, these long monologues. But I also worry about exposing my thoughts to more people. Text requires so much effort to read; in contrast, videos require little effort. I am not very natural with word selections in Assamese or Nepali; I don't know if I shall record in Hindi. The fact that I have been doing journaling in English over the years, it is the language of my thoughts. And my parents won't understand English. Defeats the purpose of recording myself. I can switch to other languages, but recording is a great way to improve/practice this ad hoc thought structuring. I want to do this in English. It isn't for people to watch. It is for myself. And for parents, oh, they get to see me, and I will say a few words to them, and add explanation when required. 

To be continued...

27th September

Sounds like I am overthinking this. But hey, I have already recorded a video. No way I am overthinking. It shouldn't really matter who would understand and watch these. I shall just record. In whatever language I feel. If it is a self-talk monologue, surely it is going to be in English, or if I feel I will talk Assamese or Nepali. If I get asked by people, I will think about language. If I have a situation, the situation should dictate the language. However, I don't think I will record a situation. I think I am confused. Let's reframe the question. 

Why do I want to record? To structure my thoughts, practice the flow. Really? Maybe not. 

I want to record the video to share my thoughts, to answer my worries about recording. And while doing so, practice my flow. Can I do both? I can't. 

If I am recording my monologue, I don't need an extra camera, I don't need to think story. I could be sharing anything. And I can expect the audience will have some idea of what I am saying. I should still write. And my flow practice is done as well. But how can I omit my parents, who will click on the link to watch and not understand anything? 

This is the reason I haven't been able to share or record a 2nd one. Anyway. I will record and see how it goes. Probably I will not record that much as well, not worth thinking about this complexity.

I shall revisit after recording 10th. Let's go ⚡