You Don’t Have to Be Like Me

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde. 

You don’t need to be like me.
You might like a few things about me, and maybe you’ll pick up a thing or two - and that’s perfectly fine. But remember this: you’re not me. You’re different. And because you’re different, you’re not limited by my constraints.

Note: I read the quote on the internet, don't know much about Oscar.

The Conversations That Made Me Reflect

The last couple of weeks have been intense on the work front. Our team was selected among the top 20 globally by the G20 TechSprint, and we were racing towards our final submission on August 31, 2020. But this post isn’t about that.

I want to share two conversations from last week that stuck with me - one with my brother and the other with a friend. My brother asked how I manage to stay so focused for long stretches. The truth is, I don’t always. Yes, to some extent, I’m consistent, but life isn’t a straight line. Plans are worthless if you can’t adapt. I’ve had to change my approach many times while keeping the bigger goal in sight.

Conversation about focus and consistency can be done another day. Here, I want to double on - Comparing yourself to others rarely makes sense. Different people have different skills, abilities, circumstances, and priorities - all of which shape who they are.

Comparison Isn’t Always Bad

Now, I’m not saying comparisons are useless. But if you choose to compare, do it consciously, with enough information and a set of very specific goals.

Know who you’re comparing yourself to, and more importantly, why.

When you answer the why, you stay aligned with your goals.
For example, I run a bit. But it makes no sense for me to compare myself to Eliud Kipchoge or Usain Bolt. I'm not a professional athlete, and running a sub-2-hour marathon isn’t on my life’s priority list.

Where I do compare myself is within my craft - to great software developers and builders. Not to feel inferior or chase someone else’s life, but to learn and improve.

When done right, comparison can be a tool - structured, positive, and intentional.
But for me, it’s optional. It’s a bonus, not the baseline.

What’s a Priority List?

You’ve seen me mention the priority list a few times here. Let me explain what I mean.

It’s a list of things I want to do before my last blink.
And yes, a lot depends on hope and assumption, like your expected lifespan. The idea is to ask yourself:

If I knew I had X years left, what would I want to accomplish before my time runs out? 

Or with the framework of abundance, ask

If I had unlimited resources and time, what would I be doing?

Make a list. Continue refining this list until you narrow it down to a handful of goals that truly matter to you. It could be one big mission or a few meaningful pursuits.

Break those down into smaller, actionable steps.
Sort those tasks by importance or urgency.
That’s your priority list. And it should evolve constantly, with you. At any given moment, the top item on your list is what deserves your focus.

And it is okay, if you couldn't come up with a good list of items you want to be working on. Do the opposite of it, make a list of items you don't want to work on. And don't do them. The world is big enough and will find its way to run itself; you take care of yourself.

As Bill Gates once said -

Focus is about saying no to hundreds of good ideas to persist with one. 

That's it

This is a brief article, and there’s much more I could say about building and maintaining a priority list. I’ll probably write a detailed one later, with examples and templates. But for now, give it a try.

And above all - remember this:
You’re unique. You’re independent.
You don’t have to live your life trying to be someone else. Look deep enough inside and you will find answers. 

Be you. Enjoy being you. Stay safe.