The old soul & the cages

I didn't know there was a test match going on yesterday (14th Nov, 2025). I barely watch cricket these days. I still follow it a bit. I opened Hotstar out of temptation and watched a few overs. I don't exactly remember the details, but I know SA got all out and India came to bat. The day ended early due to bad light. I don't recall the details because I was multitasking. I was working and watching the match passively. I am not good at passively consuming something. I know people who are really good at this. And I had some thoughts running at the same time. 

I am an old soul. In the age of T20 cricket and all the glaze, I prefer test matches.  In the age of show and making loud noises, I prefer being sustained and silent. Don't get me wrong, I am every bit opposite to what a traditionalist would be. I don't follow structures; I don't follow institutions for the sake of it. I am on my deathbed, have no chances of surviving, and you give me a way out, even in that situation, you will find me asking why, how? A simple answer like trust me would be enough if I could trust you. 

I am so free, I do everything that makes sense to me, everything that seems interesting. I am so free, yet I am in a cage of my own. Multiple cages, actually. Okay, they aren't cages; they are boundaries set by me, for my core. For the values, for me. Cage may be an oversimplification. Easy for other people to understand. Maybe they are cages, and I can't help to get out. I can't get out. Better, I don't want to get out. I would know there is a socially better outcome outside of these cages, but I can't help. I am never sold to social outcomes; I want to fly, but in my own free world. I am free when I know I haven't twisted, played with my values. Most free versions are the ones that don't even need to unsee. And irony, I have been blessed to see. 

To be continued...