The ego of a conversation

Bikram Sutar
Doctor Strange (2016)
Doctor Strange (2016)

Have you watched Doctor Strange (2016) (YouTube link)?
If you haven't already, do watch before reading further. Click on the link above. It is just a 2-minute scene in 2x.

Great. In the scene, Strange traps Dormammu in a time loop. Strange keeps coming back, again and again, repeating the same thing while Dormammu gets increasingly frustrated. You watched it right 🙄

On paper, it’s a one-sided conversation. But that conversation has enormous value. It decides the fate of the universe. And if my conversations were of that magnitude, I’d also show up endlessly. No hesitation. No fatigue. No complaints.

But most conversations aren’t Dormammu deals.

Ego - Red vs Green

  1. Green ego - Your idea or opinion of yourself, your feeling of your importance, and your ability
  2. Red ego - Hidden, unspoken desires, resulting in real-world demand

Dormammu, in that scene, is all Red Ego.
He’s demanding outcomes, submission, his way or nothing.

Strange, on the other hand, carries a Green Ego - a healthy, maybe a bit overconfident awareness of his worth. He knows what he’s capable of. He knows why he matters. He knows what the stakes are. And that’s why he can endure the loop.

He’s not chasing Dormammu’s validation. He’s protecting the world. Doing his duty. That's the conversation.

My green ego

I try to protect my Green Ego in a conversation.
I know why I am in it.  And frankly, I’m overconfident about it. Hence, I won't ever pull out the awkwardness trick. Awkwardness in these situations is real. But think deeply, and awkwardness is nothing but an illusion for underconfidence or a conversation not having a green ego. 

Yes, each conversation should have an ego
A healthy, Green Ego in a conversation means it sustains itself.
People feel its value, the importance. Everyone wants to return. It has dignity. It has momentum.

When a conversation lacks that when it’s one-sided, when it needs to be dragged, my Green Ego reminds me I’m not stuck in a time loop. And unless I am dealing with Dormammu, I should not create the loop.Â