Spotify hits it right
As the sun goes to deep sleep and a full moon hits its peak, as everyone goes to bed, and when I am sleepy, it is midnight, my Spotify hits it right. Just right on the spot. It would be very rare for me to share them. Maybe if I am very close to some people, I will curate and share if pushed for, maybe if I have more confidence someday, I will share them here. Yes, you are thinking right, I say too many "maybe", maybe. I speak of probabilities, or maybe I am scared of absoluteness. Probabilities give me an absolute optimistic obsession. There is even a slight chance, even when I am on my deathbed, that I will maybe hit the lottery. That's why.
I am in Bangalore, and it is almost midnight. It is my usual time to wrap up the day. But every once in a while, it is also my time to jot these thunders in my cerebral cortex. This is an endeavour to understand myself, this is a practice to keep myself accountable, this is a way to have a tick. Maybe it is a way to run away sometimes. Maybe there are too many metrics to track, and the Heisenberg principle applies, whether it be a simulation or quantum reality.
I have always felt I have limited time. I am blessed with a brilliant system (body + mind). But thoughts of not having enough time, and thoughts of not doing enough, can wake me up in deep sleep. If couciousness find ways after the biological fullstop, I might wake up again. Maybe that is the circle I am running in if there is any truth. I want to be nobody in the world, I don't want to make noise, I want to do my part and walk away, call me a penguin. But I want validation from my inner core, I am somebody. I have done something that was justification to the system I possess and not just the situation, environment that gave me what it could. Never in my life have I had two voices. Not saying I don't run into conflicts.
We were in Arunachal last weekend. Driving in mountain is a growth lesson. Walking itself is a growth lesson. Stability is at its peak when I am standing on two feet. But to move, I have to pick one, and another. We have to risk stability for moving. It is so common and repetitive that we don't even think, unless you have tried walking on a really slippery floor. Driving in the mountains is similar. You start from the bottom, go through a really curvy road, a risky turn, and reach the top. The view is amazing. But you know, the destination is 3 mountains beyond. Next thing, you go down the mountain you just climb but on the otherside. You let go of progress for a cause, for a future you haven't seen. But maybe you don't care about the future; the journey itself matters. Destiny isn't the top of the first mountain, may it be the bottom of any other. Progress happens like this.
Maybe it is my time, maybe it is my year, but funny it is, I don't know what to do. I know what not to do as a starting point. Maybe I don't need to do a job. Maybe it is the time of war. Maybe a few more months. Let me prepare by doing a shadow, or maybe let me rest up. I don't know. Maybe my month will bring the answers.
See ya!
Ready to fight
Wake me up at night
Take me to the fight
To the underworld
In the dim light
Where I can get high
I am no shy
Born to fly
Give me a piece
The price is the peace
Let Hades know
He is finished
Here to fight
The prize is the peace
It is gonna hurt
I am no fart
Give me the fight
I am gonna ignite
Light so bright
World gonna scream
Look at my bhai
Wake me at night
In the dim light
Take me to underworld
Ready to fight
https://suno.com/s/lIrVhCNWD51rwIGs
https://open.spotify.com/track/2AB7fsbG0eZJjDGile69CQ?si=Dfv66H1rQx29KLGDSTB5Rg